Classroom Comedy: Kids ARE the darndest things! :)

Well, the students are back.  And up to their usual fun and funny stuff:)  You gotta love a job that provides you with non-stop laughs.

The Background:  We are currently studying Lewis and Clark and their journey.  We have discussued important aspects of their journey.  We have used symbollism to make connections to those aspects.

I made a box that they had to pull items out of.  They couldn’t see in the box.  They had to be brave.  We talked about how that mirrored Lewis and Clark.

One of the items in the box was a fake flower.  I asked what it might represent.  They said nature, plants, newly discovered plants, the edible nuts and berries they ate to sustain them on their journey, and trees.  Big trees. 

I asked why big trees were so important to their journey.

The Laugh:  One of my students promptly yelled out “For bathrooms.”

So my last blog got me to remembering when I taught third grade, which happened awhile back so I can laugh at this one.  At that point in time, we used to study the Native American Indians.  We also studied their natural resources, so therefore we also studied bison / buffalo.

The Background:  I found the most perfect video (in the teacher video library to show to classrooms) put out by one of those fantastic nature video producers called something like “Buffalo of the Plains.”  I was so excited as many of my children really didn’t have a clue about them and I thought it would be the perfect enhancement to learning about the Plains Indians and their culture.

The Laugh: The movie was outstanding.  We stopped about halfway through though.  I explained that the buffalo were “fighting”  and in case one of them got hurt, I didn’t want the kids to have to see that.

I am sure many of the children thought it was an odd position for the bison to be fighting in.

So I told you a little while ago about getting 22 projects all with the same title, “George Washington Carver” and then I told you we worked on improving our titles

So I was going through them to hang on the board (yes, I am a bit slow with this project) and one student clearly didn’t get it.

The Background:  The students had to list important events (not necessarily in order but they needed to be grouped somehow).  They could use a timeline, or any other software, such as a powerpoint, etc.  It was their choice.  Then they also had to list THEIR FEELINGS or THOUGHTS about the event.  Okay, so far so good.

The Laugh:  I noticed on the smack dab front of one of the projects (right below the GWC title) in parenthesis, one of the students wrote, “(Dates may not be completely accurate.)”   ??????  I don’t think he got it

With the kids I have this year, I just don’t know if I am going to be able to keep up with this site.  They are so sweet and kind and naive; just like I like ‘em!

The Background:  Yesterday we were learning about the origins of our city, as all fourth graders do in our state.  Our city became established when we had about 1000 people inhabiting/residing here.  To explain the change to our children, I told them to imagine the number of children in our school times two.  This really drove home that there weren’t many people living here.  Our population now is around 300,000.  They are familiar with what this feels like and looks like.

The Laugh:  After a minute of quiet contemplation about this enormous change of population in a time span of around 200 years, a little girl sitting next to me looked deep in mental calculation, shrugged, and took on the voice of “well of course you dummy teacher” and blurted out, “Well, yeah.  Reproduction you know,”  just very matter of factly. The aide in my room fell into a fit of giggles and I smiled and just kept teaching social studies and being thankful that the students haven’t seen the puberty movie yet. 

Well, here I am world.  And already I have made a mistake and, of course, it is funny.  Maybe it’s being a teacher, or maybe it’s just me, but it seems like funny things are always happening.  In my whole life.  And I don’t mean funny like weird.  I mean funny like ROFL and running to the bathroom hope I can make it funny.  So, I thought I would share some of these hilarious happenings, with the focus being my classroom and students from previous years.  Obviously, all names are fake.  As a side note to teachers: please do not correct my grammar.  hehe   I am doing this for fun.

So, my first funny mistake -

When you type the word “darndest” the r and the n tend to run together and look like an M, so it really makes the title sound like I am cussing out kids!  Oops!  So not me.  Ah well, I will learn as I blog.

I have been collecting these funny little sayings and happenings since my very first year after graduation.  It was at that time I became a kindergarten aide.  There was so much I laughed at and shared with others, I began writing them all down and shoving them in a file, with the intention of writing a book someday (after I retire) and making a ton of money.  With the creation of blogs, who needs a publisher???  So my first story will be my most memorable of all my teaching years.

Background A:  It was my third year teaching and I taught third grade.  At the end of the day in third grade, students fill out planners to help them keep track of their homework.  Every day I faithfully write the assignments next to each subject.  Then to make sure the students have copied it correctly (since this is their first year doing this) I personally initial every child’s planner. 

Background B:  My husband is Native American.  Having discussed this with him extensively, he doesn’t feel offended being referred to as Indian.  The subject comes up often in my class when teaching Native Americans and I explain to third graders about political correctness and how it really depends on the individual and their preferences.  Hence, I oftentimes refer to Native Americans as Indians.

The Set UP:  One afternoon in November, pack up time was pretty hectic.  The students had been writing in their planners for three months and doing a spectacular job.  There was some kind of end of the day emergency which I don’t remember (somebody needed a bus pass, someone didn’t know how they were getting home, etc.).  Anyway, it resulted in me not writing the one assignment on the board.  I verbally told the children to write “Indian Worksheet” in their planner next to the social studies subject line.

The Laugh:  One of my dear sweet little third grade girls wrote her homework down as “Indian Shit” not realizing that sheet is spelled with two e’s instead of an i.  When she brought it to me to sign I could barely contain myself.